A Fake Poem by President Trump

This is a freeform poem I put together by collating a bunch of Donald Trump’s tweets (only from the month of July, 2019) and rearranging them. Some will point out that I’ve taken his statements out of context. Others may say I’ve contextualised them very well. But nobody can say that these words are mine; they have all been tweeted by a very noisy bird indeed, @realDonaldTrump.



Just spoke to @KanyeWest about his friend A$AP Rocky’s incarceration.

My Administration is taking groundbreaking action.


Our Country is Free, Beautiful and Very Successful.

The Mainstream Media is out of control. 

It has never been this bad. They have gone bonkers.

The Fake News Media gives us zero credit...

It is amazing how the Fake News Media became “crazed,” 

The Fake News Media loves the narrative 

that I didn’t use many banks because the banks didn’t like me. 

No, I didn’t use many banks because I didn’t (don’t) need their money…


We are doing great Economically as a Country, Number One.

People are fleeing New York like never before.

It is very hard and expensive to live in New York.

Governor Andrew Cuomo uses his Attorney General 

as a bludgeoning tool for his own purposes. 

They sue on everything, always in search of a crime.

On top of ridiculously high taxes, my children 

and companies are spending a fortune on lawyers. 

No wonder people and businesses are fleeing New York in record numbers!

The Economy is the BEST IT HAS EVER BEEN!

Our Federal Reserve doesn’t have a clue! 

We have the greatest military anywhere in the world. Not bad!

AOC Plus 3 are a Nightmare for America!

Dangerous & bad for our Country. 

The “Squad” (AOC Plus 3) and other Dems suffer

from Trump Derangement Syndrome. Crazy!

Not good for the Democrats! So bad for our Country!

Their policies will destroy our Country!

Best and Newest Military (almost totally rebuilt from 

the depleted military I took over) in History.

He called me a Racist, which I am not.

The “Squad” is a very Racist group of troublemakers 

who are young, inexperienced, and not very smart. 

Get a list of the HORRIBLE things they have said.

…weak & insecure people…Foul Mouthed Omar…

Sick...so pathetic to watch...can’t stand 

her and her hatred of our Country…

I don’t believe the four Congresswomen 

are capable of loving our Country. 

Why don’t they go back and help fix the totally broken 

and crime infested places from which they came.

These people are vicious and totally crazed,

IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY HERE, YOU CAN LEAVE!

This is about love for America. 

Those Tweets were NOT Racist. 

I don’t have a Racist bone in my body! 


MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

...people should not be entering our Country illegally, 

only for us to then have to care for them. 

Sorry, can’t let them into our Country. 

Too bad!

If too crowded, tell them not to come to USA, 

We are building the Wall now.

Cute!


KEEP AMERICA GREAT!

Today, I am directing my Administration to explore 

all regulatory and legislative solutions 

to protect the free speech rights of ALL AMERICANS. 

We hope to see more transparency, 

more accountability, and more FREEDOM! 

Here we go with the Fake Polls.

Presidential Harassment!

FAKE!

Certain people HATE our Country....

...the incompetent Mayor of London…

The wacky Ambassador that the U.K. foisted 

upon the United States…a very stupid guy...a pompous fool. 

Highly conflicted Robert Mueller

…In the end it will be bad for him. 

Thomas “the Chin” Friedman,

a weak and pathetic sort of guy...Phony!

Crooked Hilary Clinton. 

Lame Duck Speaker Paul Ryan

Weak, ineffective & stupid 

…with his poor leadership and bad timing… 

…one of the dumbest & most disloyal men…A total loser!

Joe Biden is a reclamation project. Some things are just not salvageable. 

Andy McCabe is a major sleazebag.

Each of you is fulfilling a vital role in our nation.


It was great being with Chairman Kim Jong Un

 of North Korea this weekend. We had a great meeting, 

he looked really well and very healthy - 

I look forward to seeing him again soon....


What a wonderful, loving, and giving man.

A wonderful man and great Republican!

Great Coach, Great Guy!


...he could not have been nicer or more respectful 

to your favorite President, me. 

He contributed to your favorite President, me! 

Iran is a total mess!

Guatemala has not been good.

Mexico is doing great at the Border, but China is letting us down. 

India has long had a field day putting Tariffs 

on American products. No longer acceptable!

We have been treated very unfairly (to put it mildly) 

by other countries for many years, but that is changing!

Be careful with the threats, Iran. They can come back 

to bite you like nobody has been bitten before!


We have the Best Economy in History,

the Best Employment Numbers in History, 

Most People Working in History, 

Highest Stock Market in History, 

Biggest Tax and Regulation Cuts in History…

We have the greatest economy anywhere in the world. 


Congratulations to Bibi @Netanyahu... 

Congratulations to @DrGregMurphy1... 

Congratulations to Prime Minister Abe of Japan... 

Congratulations USA!


Thank you! Thank you Kevin!

Thank you so much @JonVoight!

Thank you Robert Johnson! THANK YOU BILL! 

Thank you! THANK YOU Greenville.

Thank you to Lockheed Martin, one of the USA’s truly great companies!

Thank you Robert, one of our great business leaders!

Thank you Ari! Thanks Ari!  

Thank you Lara and Jessie Jane!

Thank you Bill. Very nice! 

Thank you to President Moon of South Korea…

Thank you Marc! Thank you, so nice…

Tammy is a great person!

Thank you to the vicious young Socialist Congresswomen. 

America will never buy your act! 


Our Country is the envy of the World. Thank you, Mr. President!

This is our chance to build unparalleled 

wealth and success...Don’t blow it!

We are in a World competition, & winning big…

They don’t care who gets hurt, but also 

don’t understand that two can play that game!

Do to them what they do to you. 

I don’t make money, but lose a fortune for the honor of

serving and doing a great job as your President.

Working hard on something that should be so easy. 

People are fed up!

MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

A TOTAL SCAM!

This is one of the most horrible abuses of all.

What a disgrace to our system. 

Never heard of this before. 

VERY UNFAIR, SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED.

A very sad time for America.


Could you imagine having Sleepy Joe Biden, 

or Alfred E. Newman.....or a very nervous and skinny 

version of Pocahontas (1/1024th), as your President, 

rather than what you have now, so great looking and smart, 

a true Stable Genius!


There is no there there. NO THERE THERE! 


When I ultimately leave office in six...years, 

or maybe 10 or 14 (just kidding)

Please be prepared, be careful, & be SAFE!

Also, buy Jason’s great new book, POWER GRAB!


American citizen A$AP Rocky will be treated fairly.

Leaving now!

All problems solved! Glad I could help!

GOD BLESS THE USA